The Magnolia Lie

I'm a Fixer Upper fan—who wouldn't be? Chip and Joanna Gaines are perfectly adorable, and the homes and designs one sees every episode are almost all winners. Last year I was browsing Instagram and saw Fixer Upper's Joanna Gaines's account. Filled with perfect photo of everything—perfect globs of dough, perfectly arranged furniture, pottery, scenic views on their farm. I coveted what she showed us—who wouldn't? The Gaines's sell a brand—a brand of casual comfort, shiplap and relaxed beauty. (I want that. I need that, right?) Anyway, she advertised a massive after Christmas sale at their Magnolia Market, and drooling, I followed the link and headed right over to the store. Minutes later, I put in the order for 2 fir trees. I thought they would look great in the house. Somewhere.

They weren't cheap. The original prices were:

Tall--$58

short—$48

Here's the photo of what I thought I was getting. Small photo, no real detail.

I ordered both sizes, and after the discount, I paid $35 total. This is still way more than I normally spend on superfluous decorating items, as I'm a DIY girl. But I justified it because I was getting something from Magnolia Market. I was that much closer to having the same beautiful home those lucky people on the show were given. Right?

Many weeks later (seriously, at least three), my order finally shipped. It arrived so late in the winter season that I couldn't even put the trees up. I just glanced in the box to see that they were in there, then put the whole thing in the basement for next year.

So imagine my surprise when I pull it all out again today and actually examine my Magnolia Market fir trees for the first time. With a heavy heart, I realized I had been had.

There is a nasty brown tinsel around the trunks of both trees. I thought I was getting wood. It was advertised as wood. It's not. There's an MDF or worse base and the tree trunk and branches appear like its a cardboard tube with wire and the nasty brown tinsel to cover everything. I would have even been more accepting of the brown floral tape. But this?

Here's what I got. :(

Magnolia Market didn't bother to re-brand the trees—they still has the wholesaler tag with Made in China glaring at me! I was hoping—really hoping—that there would be some US shop somewhere that that the Magnolia team was buying these items from, or had contracts with—I was so wrong.

Wholeseller website. Notice that everything looks like it could be on Fixer Upper?

With a heavy heart, I realized that Magnolia Market offers products no different than those found in a Michael's or Hobby Lobby. Everything is from China, and while it might look great in the staged photos, it doesn't support US jobs and because it's Magnolia Market, I was paying quite a markup along with shipping for no good reason. These trees weren't unique to Magnolia Market. And that's what I convinced myself that was buying. A Magnolia Market-Joanna Gaines-surely-breathed-on-this item.

The obvious thing I had a hard time remembering is that underneath the glitz and farmhouse wonderland of the Fixer Upper shows, the Gaines' are a wealthy family. A very wealthy family. They built up a brand, a relaxed way to live at home, and they are selling it at a high cost to people like me who just want that extra Joanna touch in our homes. I'm not supporting a cute mom and pop shop here, despite however much Joanna name drops her original little Bosque store—Chip and Joanna are business-savy millionaires who buy low and sell high, and I'm the sucker who kept the profits rolling in for them, all while landing myself a sub-par quality item. Did I bring that piece of Joanna inspired calm and beauty into my home? Not really. It's rather embarrassingly cheap to look at unless I'm standing twenty feet away and can't notice the low quality. No one would even know that it is from Magnolia Market—there is not a single piece of Magnolia branding on the trees.

Sure, this lesson might be obvious to many people. I guess it my disappointment came down to my desire to believe in a feeling from a look and buy (literally) into the lie. I give due credit to Chip and Joanna Gaines as business owners—they are brilliant at what they do—but after this experience, they've certainly lost a lot of polish.

DIY Floor Pillows

Tutorials for floor pillows are easy to find on pinterest, so I won't regurgitate the directions here. What I do want to add is getting into the specifics, like size and cost that some of the other bloggers fail to mention.

Both floor pillows I made are 32" squares, and that is massive. My 3 year old is dwarfed by it so I know that it will be very useful for years to come. Any larger than that and you're honestly giving up a lot of valuable floor space. Just keep that in mind.

The second thing I wanted to mention is the fiber fill itself. I highly recommend that in the interest of cost savings, DO NOT go to a craft store like Joanns or Hobby Lobby for the filling, because you will pay a fortune (I learned this the hard way). At 32", these pillows require about 100 oz of filling each. This number sounds useless, but trust me, the poly fill bags will have an ounce amount on them. The original filling I bought was a bag at 40 oz for a whopping $20 each at Joanns! Yikes! Sorry, but that's the whole reason I DIY--to make things on the cheap. The stuffing part of the pillow shouldn't be that much. So I went to Walmart and found a 50 oz poly fill bag for $7.44. I can handle that so much better. So there's my two cents on the stuffing amount and cost.

Happy sewing!

No More Head Banging! DIY High Chair Pillow

My little guy is a head banger. Aside from freaking out guests and making quite a bit of racket, it really bothers me that he is smacking his precious head into the back of his high chair that contains virtually no padding. 

I needed to do something about it, and it's been a long time coming. This is a quick and easy fix, and a bit ugly, but that's usually how my first editions go. Here's a brief tutorial to lay out the basic design so you can make your own hooded pillow to go over your high chair. 

You will need:

sewing machine

1 yd fabric (I used a soft flannel) 

 .25 yds of junk fabric (not seen)

scissors

the fabric cloth covering to your high chair

old pillow/stuffing

1. Trace the shape of your high chair cover onto the fabric. You will need to cut 3 pieces. 

    (Sorry, only 1 shown above).

 2. Sew your 3 pieces together like a sandwich: lay the ugly fabric down, followed by the pretty fabric face up followed by a pretty fabric face down. Sew along the outside edge.

3. Turn out your sandwich. You should have the good fabric facing front and back with the ugly fabric in the middle. Sew a line down 3/4 of your ugly middle piece and front piece (sewing them together). Note: Get your back piece of your fabric out of the way-it must be separate or your cover can't go over your chair!  

4. Take the stuffing out of an old pillow and stuff your new pillow with it through the 1/4 space you left open. Sew that space up when you're done. Hem the raw edges so it looks more complete.

Fit it on your high chair, and you're done!

Thanks A Lot, Anti-VX Moms

I've honestly had it with the vaccine argument. I'm baffled about the number of parents--largely from wealthy, well-educated communities, that are choosing to keep their kids "shot-free" in hopes of sparing the kid from really serious things, like autism. (Because coming down with measles, which can affect cognitive development, isn't serious or anything).

I worked in a lab for five years as a chemist. This lab was arguably the premier one in the country for the autism witch-hunt. You name it, we tested it. Dental bits, dirt, hair, blood, vaccines--we ran it and spit out the results. I've seen documentary footage where our lab results were on camera. That's power. This lab looked at trace elements, so your lead, mercury, lithium, etc. Sometimes, I think we did a lot of good. A house was built on an old chemical dump, and the kid living there was a bit behind. His mom had the soil tested he was playing in. Sure enough, it was full of lead. No doctor will deny the damaging effects of lead on children. But I know my lab contributed to the autism mess too. We didn't differentiate between ethyl and methyl mercury in the testing, so the results I saw were just, 'yes, this sample has mercury.' Vaccines contain the benign form of mercury, although thanks to the uproar, many vaccines don't even contain that anymore. (I'm sure the people in third world countries can thank the rich US moms for leading the war against the preservatives that kept these vaccines stable during the long, arduous travel to the remote villages).

Given my background in that lab field, you would think that, I, of all people, would be tentative about vaccines. But I'm not. I believe in the excess of good science telling us that thimersol is/was harmless to the human getting the vaccine and beneficial for the vaccine itself. 

Now here's the part where I get really angry. I have two beautiful children. My oldest has been vaccinated on time since she was born. She's NOT autistic. She has never had a single adverse sign to having had shots, aside from being a bit cranky, because, yes, it hurts. My youngest is not even 4 months old. He has not received his MMR vaccine because he is too young. There have been several outbreaks of measles around our area. With spring, and then summer approaching, what am I to do? Lock my baby in the house until he is able to have his vaccine or risk that when I take him into a public place, he could become incredibly sick? I think this is such a touchy subject for me because I am powerless to stop that virus--that was nearly wiped out in the US--from attacking my baby right now, despite being pro-vaccine. Why should I be afraid, why should my baby potentially suffer because of another mom's willful negligence of her own kids? Her choice in this matter negatively effects every other person her unvaccinated kid comes in contact with. My choice to vaccinate effects my kids directly only, and adds to herd immunity. 

Someone is being selfish and stupid here, and it isn't me. 

Quick Dinner Idea--Mexcian Casserole

Yeah, tonight was one of those nights where I wasn't sure what to make for dinner, didn't have a ton of things left in the house and my keys were all but calling out to me to head out to the nearest McDonald's. At the last minute I rallied, and so can you. This dinner will take--from start to finish-- 30 minutes, I swear it. And the result was a meal that even my 20 month old ate. Winning.

Mexican Casserole

Serves 4-6

30 minutes

Ingredients
1 can enchilada sauce
1 can sweet corn
1 can black beans
1 can chopped tomatoes with chiles
1 lb. ground turkey (or beef)
1 packet taco seasoning
1 package of corn tortillas
1 12 oz bag of shredded cheese
cilantro, chopped
1 jalapeno pepper, chopped (optional) 
1 avocado, cubed (optional) 

Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees F. In a skillet, cook the ground turkey and add the taco seasoning. If your family likes spicy, add in the jalapeno pepper too. 

In a 9x13 pan, lightly grease the sides so nothing sticks. Add a tiny bit of your enchilada sauce to the bottom, enough to coat it. Take the stack of tortillas and slice them into 1 inch strips, then lie the strips out along the bottom of the pan. Add half of your cooked and seasoned ground turkey on top of this, followed by half the can of beans, sweet corn, tomatoes and then drizzle half the can of enchilada sauce over it all. Add half the bag of cheese. Now add the rest of enchilada sauce, then the tortilla strips followed by the other ingredients in the same order. Top with cheese and cilantro. Put it in the oven for 10 minutes or until the cheese is nice and melted. Add the avocado on top.

Enjoy!

Amazingly Simple Potato Soup

This soup is a family favorite! A lot of recipes call for flour or heavy cream to thicken potato soup, but I have found that by veggie loading and sticking to whole milk, (which I always have on hand with a toddler around), you can create a yummy thick and nutritious soup.

Cheesy Potato Soup

serves 4

40 min total

1 bag of red potatoes, skinned and cubed
16 oz of chicken broth
3 cups whole milk
8 oz shredded cheddar cheese
1 or 2 zucchini, chopped
2 cups carrots, chopped
2 cups broccoli
pepper
parsley
onion powder (or chop up 1 onion)
green onions, diced
bacon bits

Throw your potatoes, veggies, spices and chicken broth into a pot. Keep at a boil until the potatoes and veggies are tender. Take a potato masher and mash the potatoes in the pot as much as you can. Add in the milk. Heat until it reaches a boil, then bring it down to a simmer. Add in the cheese, stirring. Serve with green onions, cheese, and bacon bits sprinkled on top.

DIY Crate Bookshelf

Sometimes you just need a project. When it's functional, even better. I loved the idea of a crate shelving unit, so I endeavored to make my own. It definitely serves a purpose in my office right now, but I can see this being used in a bathroom or anywhere! 
 
The whole thing cost less than $30, as all I needed to buy was the crates and castor wheels (the rest I had from other projects). 

I used these too (wood glue not pictured! Sorry).

 

And 4 of these if you want wheels.

• I started by sanding the crates down to remove the rough edges.
• Then I applied wood glue along every board that was touching. I didn't have any clamps, but the weight of the crates, one stacked upon the other, seemed to do the trick. TIP: IMMEDIATELY clean up the glue if any drips off, because stain will not stick to dried glue!
• I nailed finishing nails on an angle to help adhere the crates together. I'm not sure if this was really necessary, but it made me feel better.

 At this point, this is what it looked like:

• Apply the stain. I used 1 coat only. Let it dry.
• Apply the white paint using a dry brush. TIP: This took a lot of work. There were definitely some oops moments, but since I was going for the really distressed beach look, I didn't mind. Sand down the spots that need more distressing.

• Apply the polycrylic coat. (I didn't want the yellowing effect of polyurethane). I did this 3 times. While I used the spray can, I bet the liter version in can would be just as nice. 
• Adhere the castor wheels. (Sorry, no picture of this. You will need screws and a drill for installing the wheels). 

And done!!